


Berceuse

by Lilyliegh



Series: Arc-V Rarepair Week 2017 [4]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Night Terrors, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 03:52:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11432586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilyliegh/pseuds/Lilyliegh
Summary: Yuzu is suspicious when Ruri comes to work exhausted. She hopes that spending the night with her might help Ruri sleep soundly.





	Berceuse

**Author's Note:**

> for arc-v rarepair week - day 04: sleep. honestly, i didn't expect to write angst for this pairing, but it happened ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Yuzu is perceptive enough to know when someone is feeling under the weather.

It’s not hard when the bruising bags under Ruri’s eyes match the colour of her messy, purple hair thrown up in a loose bun. Ruri looks _exhausted._ Her eyes are droopy, her lips pursed and pulled into a frown. Her skin doesn’t have the same glow to it, and despite looking like she tried to freshen up with a bit of makeup and a nice blouse-and-skirt combo, Yuzu still thinks she just looks tired.

“You OK?” she asks. “You don’t even look like you slept.”

Ruri chuckles, trying – and failing – to smile. “I think I slept.”

That sends warning bells into Yuzu’s head. “You _think_ you slept? How can you _think_ something like that? You’d _know_ if you slept if your head hit the pillow and you blacked out for several hours.” She leans back and crosses her arms over her chest. “You didn’t sleep, did you?”

“I did!” Ruri says, jumping a bit to raise a hand. “I just … still feel a bit tired. Maybe it’s this warm weather.”

A lie. Yuzu knows that temperature doesn’t bother Ruri – they have cuddled together on the hottest days of summer  – and that normally her sleep is uninterrupted. Sure, Ruri wakes up at the slightest of sounds, but she can’t imagine her girlfriend’s sleep being that disrupted by birds or her roommates moving about the house. No, whatever woke Ruri up is something that _scared_ her. She even looks scared, the tense lines in her face making it clear that something is prickling her mind.

“Maybe sleep with your door closed tonight,” Yuzu says. “You sleep with it open, don’t you? Maybe you heard something throughout the night and it woke you up.” She laughs. “Doesn’t Shun game all night? Maybe you heard him.”

Ruri nods, eyes cloudy. “Yeah, maybe.”

It’s another lie.

Yuzu lets her off with this one though. Ruri has work at the library and Yuzu needs to run off to catch the train to her midday class. In the mornings, Yuzu always meets Ruri before her shift. Sometimes she walks her into work and kisses her goodbye, but today they’ve dawdled at the crosswalk and now she needs to run before she’s late. She’ll see her after class though: Yuzu will make her way back to the library, hang out and study until Ruri is done her shift, and then they’ll meander back to her place until Ruri needs to sleep.

Ruri hasn’t stayed the night once since they got together three months ago.

She leans in for a quick kiss and a hug. “Have a good day at work, love!”

Ruri kisses her back. “See you later, love!”

Ruri’s cheeks are damp when Yuzu pulls away. She doesn’t see tears, but she feels them. Has Ruri … been crying?

Ruri is gone though, dashing down the street so that she isn’t late for work. Yuzu has but a moment to rest before she runs off towards the train station. MaiamiU, despite being the city’s main university, is located _outside_ of it where there is more space to build a large, elaborate campus. It’s bigger than LDS by far, all made of white stone and red brick. The campus is open-style and bordered by colourful gardens of wildflowers. Further back there are small streams snaking through the grass by which graceful weeping willows grow along the banks.

The buildings are located in the centre of the gardens: six stone giants clustered around a massive fountain. The fountain is a tribute to the goddess Ray who is said to have imbued this university with protective enchantments and wishes of hope and prosperity. The legend goes that Ray created this university as a sanctuary for young students to learn safely; currently, it’s just the top university in the Pendulum Dimension.

Today though, Yuzu’s mind wanders past the gardens. She’s worried about Ruri. Even though one glance around the campus features enough sleep-deprived students to match Ruri’s tired expression, that doesn’t put Yuzu’s mind at ease. Ruri isn’t normally tired; in fact, she’s the opposite. Ruri usually looks eager to start the day. She meets Yuzu in the morning with a smile not fueled by caffeine, and she never talks about a bad’s night sleep. Nothing has changed between them for Yuzu to suspect that Ruri might not be sleeping well because of her. Likewise, Yuzu doesn’t think her brother Shun has anything to do with it.

Work? Unlikely. Ruri likes her job and she would say something if there was a mishap. Her co-workers wouldn’t mess with her either. While Ruri is a gentle soul, she tolerates zero shit.

 _It has to be personal then._ That’s … troubling. Is Ruri keeping something from her?

Yuzu shakes her head. If it’s a secret, it’s because Ruri is embarrassed. Yuzu isn’t going to push her to tell. She’s nosey enough to want to help Ruri to feel better, but she doesn’t need to know the root of the problem to find a solution. She’ll just help with the information she has.

* * *

 When Yuzu goes to Ruri’s work to wait for her, she decides to research sleeping methods. The Maiami Central Library is both a massive archive for historians and researchers, and a cosy corner for students struggling to pass their midterms. It’s the largest library in the Pendulum Dimension and the second largest library in the United Dimensions, making it a busy place for anyone.

Yuzu steps through the doors and feels like she’s in a labyrinth. There are floor-to-ceiling bookcases looming in the background with ladders stretching up to graze the roof. In the foreground, there are several desks, tables, and smaller bookcases for newcomers. An interactive, holographic map glows a few steps ahead to guide people to the correct floor or section of the library. To the left are the check-out and help desks; there are more in the upper floors, but Ruri works on the first floor helping students research projects.

Today though, Ruri looks like she’s falling asleep at her desk. She looks even worse than this morning, eyes heavy and skin sallow. Yuzu almost wonders if she’s coming down with a cold, but Ruri’s face brightens when she sees her.

“How was class?” she asks, leaning forward across the desk.

“Music theory is fun until you start rote memorising names and dates, and then it just gets tiresome.” She laughs and leans forward on the desk, nose-to-nose with Ruri. “How has work been? Anything new to report?”

Ruri laughs, a soft sound that she still covers with one hand. “No, nothing exciting. There was a student though that was researching gender studies though – that was fun to research.”

Yuzu hums in agreement. With her face so close to Ruri’s, she can feel her dry cheeks. Ruri hasn’t been crying since this morning. Yuzu thinks to bring it up here and now, but she wonders if perhaps that’s too bold even for her. Would Ruri be embarrassed talking during work? And surely she should be working instead of chatting away to her …

Leaning back to roll on her heels, Yuzu says, “I’m off to study now! Come find me when you’re done!”

She leaves Ruri with a smile and a wave, and heads towards the back of the library, past the tall bookshelves.

At the back of the library are the desktop computers, all black and shiny and lined up in a neat row. Yuzu picks an empty one that faces away from Ruri’s desk; should Ruri come looking for her at the computers, Yuzu won’t be startled by her. This isn’t something she wants to keep away from her girlfriend, but rather something that she wants to surprise her with. If Ruri isn’t sleeping well, Yuzu wants to help her. Even if they’ve never slept over before, this could be a new step in the right direction.

She logs into the computer and starts the timer. She has two hours on this computer before the system kicks her off, and one and a half hours until Ruri’s shift ends and she comes looking for her.

First, Yuzu checks the wikis. All that comes up for her are sites for sleep disorders, which she doesn’t suspect Ruri has. She isn’t trying to diagnose anything; she just wants a solution. However, half the websites she goes to are catered specifically for certain sleep disorders, and thus many of her searches prove fruitless. The ones that do give her any information are … concerning. They suggest sleeping pills or expensive treatments, or equipment that Yuzu doesn’t think Ruri will ever agree to.

She doesn’t want some medical solution – she wants something to help Ruri. Something that _she_ can do that doesn’t her feel so helpless.

After an hour, she gives up searching.

She doesn’t give up though. She logs out of the computer and heads back past the bookshelves to Ruri’s desk. She looks a bit more awake and sitting upright at her computer, though she still looks like she could break and crumble at any moment. When she sees Yuzu, she looks away and frowns. “Everything OK?”

“Yep, I just wanted to let you know I’m stepping outside to make a quick phone call. I need to ask Yuuya about something. I just didn’t want you wandering around the library looking for me when I’m outside.”

Ruri chuckles. “Thank you. I’m done in an hour, all right?”

Yuzu nods. “See you soon, love.”

Yuzu knows that Yuuya will have answers. They’ve been childhood friends and dueling partners for as long as she can remember. They’re parents were even childhood friends and went to school together. In times of crisis, Yuzu knows she can always count on Yuuya to help her out; after all, she’d do the same for her. With Yuuya, she can tell him anything and he’ll listen. He has a solution to every problem, and she has the go-getter attitude to put the plan into action.

Outside, she braces herself against the stone wall and kicks a leg back. The sun is warm and the sky is blue; these summer days have been so long and beautiful.

She calls Yuuya’s number on her cell phone and holds for a moment until he answers. Yuuya’s voice is so welcoming and warm, and he sounds so happy to hear from her.

“Hey, Yuzu!”

“Hey, Yuuya!” She adjusts the phone, pausing so she has just the right words to say. “Listen, I need your help with something. Ruri hasn’t been sleeping well and I want to help her. I don’t think it’s insomnia, and if it is it’s not from caffeine or anything like that, but she’s been so tired lately. I’m worried about her.”

“Do you know what helps you fall to sleep?”

“Me? No, this is about Ruri –”

“I know,” he says, cutting her off, “but what if what helps you fall to sleep also helps Ruri? As a child, what did you dad do when you couldn’t sleep?”

It takes Yuzu a second to think about it. She hasn’t had nightmares in years, and even as a teenager she didn’t tell her dad when things were rough. It’s been ages since he’s had to help her fall asleep.

But she remembers. As clear as day, Yuzu remembers her father taking her into his arms and snuggling her close to his chest. He used to run his fingers through her hair. His heartbeat would be the soothing melody in her ears, slow and steady, and it would guide her into a gentle rest. On nights when she had nightmares, her father would never let her go. He’d hold her all night and fall asleep in the rocking chair, even if his back might’ve been sore the next day and his sleep disrupted. He took care of her when she was scared.

Yuzu tells this to Yuuya. He pauses on the line before he says, “Well, wouldn’t it make sense to try that?”

“Huh?”

Yuuya’s voice is _mocking_ her on the other line. “If it works for you, why wouldn’t it work for Ruri? The best thing you can do is give it a go. You could even do what my mom did for me when I had nightmares: she’d sing. You’re a wonderful vocalist, Yuzu, so I’m sure Ruri would love to hear your voice more than ever. When she’s having a nightmare, just hold her close and sing her a song. That might help her calm down.”

Oh.

“Yeah, that would work.”

Yuuya isn’t one to shy away from praise. “Glad I could help you out so much.”

And Yuzu isn’t one to hold back giving it. “You’re a lifesaver, Yuuya. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome! Anything else I can help with?”

“I’m good now. Thank you again, Yuuya!”

“Talk to you later!”

The line falls silent. Yuzu pockets the phone, strings of courage blossoming in her chest. She’ll ask Ruri if she can stay the night tonight. They’ll pick up take-out dinner and read to each other and watch musicals into the night, and when Ruri goes to sleep Yuzu will lay next to her and stroke her hair. She’ll sing her the same songs in the musical, or even a lullaby, and together they’ll fall asleep.

Ruri’s hand on her shoulder is what shakes her out of her dream. She jumps and spins around. Ruri has her messenger bag over her shoulder and the top button of her blouse unbuttoned. Her long hair is down and twisted around her slim waist, tangled at the bottom. Yuzu wonders if Ruri would like having her hair brushed. Would running her fingers through Ruri’s hair help her go to sleep?

“Let’s hang out tonight,” Yuzu says before they’ve even stepped down onto the sidewalk. “I want to try that new Korean restaurant, and there’s a new broadway musical on YouTube that we can watch. Let’s have a girls night in.”

If Ruri has qualms, she doesn't bring them up. Maybe she doesn’t realise that Yuzu is hinting that they should stay the night together, and she simply thinks they’re just spending an evening together before Yuzu heads home and sleeps in her own bed.

“You should stay the night,” Ruri tells her.

That answers that question.

They take off down the road after that. At this afternoon hour, there is far too much traffic on the road. The world seems congested no matter where they travel to. The roads are blocked, the streets full of pedestrians. They thankfully don’t have to take the train to Ruri’s apartment, but Yuzu suspects if they had to they’d encounter rush-hour traffic there too.

The congestion clears when they reach her apartment. Ruri lives in a modern complex, built several years ago and looking as pristine as always. The lobby features neutral colours and bright accents, making the environment seem chic. The elevator plays good music on their way up; Yuzu intertwines their hands together when Ruri begins to sway. Her apartment is on the seventh floor, number 704, just outside of the elevator. Ruri slips in a key and opens the door slowly.

Her apartment is bright. It’s the only word that comes to mind when Yuzu steps into such an airy and open place. The layout is open-style, with the kitchen overlooking the living room, and the only areas with doors being the two bedrooms and the bathroom. There is an entire wall of the living room taken up by a floor-to-ceiling window that lets in warm sunlight. Ruri takes off her shoes and sets them by the genkan, stepping up to the main level.

“Here, come on in and sit down. I’ll make tea for us.”

Yuzu kicks off her shoes and sets them beside Ruri’s, and then steps up after her. The carpet is soft and plush under her feet. When she sits down on the sofa, she tucks her legs under her and marvels at how _new_ everything feels. At her dad’s place, everything was used and worn – well-loved, but not in the best of conditions. At Ruri’s house, everything looks designer and chic. It’s almost off-putting how nice Ruri’s house is.

Ruri brings two cups of green tea in with her, handing one to Yuzu with a smile. She settles down on the couch next to her and carefully rests her head against Yuzu’s shoulder. Then she sighs, deep and slow. Her eyelids fall forward and her body seems to crumple in on its itself like a piece of paper. She’s the same shade too: her skin is translucent, and Yuzu is becoming increasingly worried that Ruri will pass out at any moment.

She shifts herself on the couch so that she can cradle Ruri’s head in her lap and stroke her long, violet hair. Yuzu’s fingers weave between the strands. It lulls Ruri’s breathing, though Yuzu can still tell that Ruri hasn’t fallen asleep yet.

“How about you rest first,” Yuzu whispers, “and then we’ll call the take-out place. I think you need some sleep …”

“Mm hm,” Ruri says, mouth pushed against Yuzu’s thigh. She says something else that is muffled by their position, and then Ruri falls silent, chest falling with soft, even breaths. The stiffness of her face disappears, her entire body relaxing against Yuzu’s. When Yuzu used to fall asleep against her dad, her father would shift her up so that her ear was against his heart. When Yuzu knows Ruri is fast asleep, she moves into that same position. It gives her more space to run her fingers through the length of Ruri’s locks, marvelling at the softness and thickness of each strand.

For what feels like hours Ruri sleeps. Her peaceful face moves with each of Yuzu’s breaths. With the warm sunshine spilling atop both of them, Yuzu feels herself drifting off too. She methodically keeps brushing Ruri’s hair, repeating the motion until it becomes second nature. Her eyes grow heavier with each repetition; she feels her breathing slow and her eyelids slip closed –

A hand hits her in the face and _stings,_ but it doesn’t stop – no, it drags down her face, catching on her lip, and Ruri _screams._ Yuzu jumps awake just as Ruri sits up, and they knock heads. Suddenly there are stars in Yuzu’s eyes that _aren’t_ from the night sky, and there’s noises that aren’t the city life outside Ruri’s window, and _oh god her girlfriend is screaming._

Ruri is upright, tears streaming down her face. She is, somehow, even whiter than before, her skin taking on a clammy, transparent hue. She looks far too old and far too scared, and before Yuzu can do anything Ruri screams at the top of her lungs. She pushes herself off Yuzu, legs scrabbling back and cutting at Yuzu’s calves.

“Ruri!” Yuzu says, throwing herself forward to try and stop Ruri from hurting herself. “Ruri, come here! Come here, what’s wrong!”

Ruri _screams,_ a sound so deadly that Yuzu covers her ears and shuts her eyes for a moment. Then she lets her hands fall and grabs at Ruri. Ruri doesn’t even register that someone is holding her hands. She looks past Yuzu at the black of the night with tears streaming down her wide, bloodshot eyes, and she keeps shouting. Never once does she say anything, never once does she call out to anyone – her words are lost in her desperate cries.

Yuzu feels helpless. She tries to keep Ruri’s hands away from her face and hold her close, but Ruri only cries harder, panting with deep gasps that rattle her lungs and cause her to choke. At times, Yuzu thinks she’s going to throw up from how much she’s coughing and choking, but even Ruri can’t seem to do anything more than let her emotions out. No matter many times Yuzu calls her name or strokes her hair, Ruri doesn’t come to.

It feels like hours before Ruri stops screaming, and it happens to fast that Yuzu’s mind races to even worse images. One minute Ruri is shouting and thrashing, body stiff, and the next minute she’s silent and flopped over Yuzu’s chest. This time Yuzu screams, pulling Ruri forward and shaking her shoulder. “Ruri! Ruri, wake up! What’s happened, wake up!”

Ruri doesn’t move.

“Ruri!” Yuzu shouts, giving her one more shake.

This time, it rouses her. Ruri moans, grumbles, and looks up. She looks even more tired with what little sleep she got, eyes cloudy and hazy. Her hand comes up first to touch her throat and then her face; there are wet tears still on her cheeks, and she’s flushed scarlet as if she has a fever. The redness only becomes more pronounced as Ruri seems to realise the situation they are in and what just transpired.

“How are you?” Yuzu says at once.

“Eh?” Ruri says.

“How are you?” Yuzu repeats. “How do you feel right now? Can you tell me?”

Ruri looks away.

Gently, Yuzu tucks a finger under Ruri’s chin. “Brave girl,” Yuzu tells her.

“‘M not brave,” Ruri says.

“You might not feel like it right now, but you are.” Carefully, Yuzu takes Ruri’s hands and begins kneading away the tightness in her muscles. Her body is stiff from the nightmare, limbs clenched tight. She looks so uncomfortable that Yuzu just wants to hold her in her arms and stroke her hair. However, Yuzu knows better than to simply force her mothering behaviours on Ruri.

Instead, Yuzu walks her fingers up Ruri’s arms and rests her palms flat on her shoulders. Ruri’s sigh make Yuzu’s arms rise up and down. “Hey, would you like to cuddle?”

Ruri nods. Yuzu tugs her closer, tucking Ruri once again against her chest. This time, Yuzu’s chin can rest on the crown of Ruri’s head. Her hair is thick at the top, sprouting out and cascading down her back. Yuzu begins twirling her fingers through the locks, one eyes focused on how Ruri responds to the touches. She seems … uneasy. Her head keeps falling forward from clear exhaustion, yet she won’t settle. Yuzu wonders if she’s scared. The nightmares she’d had … does she remember them? Were they even nightmares, or something more serious?

Ruri’s entire body gives a violent shudder and she buries her head in Yuzu’s chest. With a soothing hum, Yuzu strokes a hand from Ruri’s head all the way down to the small of her back.

“I want to sing to you,” Yuzu says after a moment. “Would you like that?”

Ruri nods.

Yuzu doesn’t know many songs, but when she thinks back to her phone conversation with Yuuya, she remembers how Yuuya told her that his mom used to sing him to sleep. Her voice was what soothed him from his terrible nightmares. Yuzu wonders if Ruri would find her voice soothing. Yuzu is currently an Arts Major studying music theory; on the dueling field, she’s an Entertainment duelist whose monsters are maestras. Her voice must sound _decent._

Softly, Yuzu begins to sing. She times her words to the rhythm of her hands rubbing up and down Ruri’s back. The lyrics are to a lullaby her father used to sing to her before bed each night. He didn’t have a strong singing voice, but the words were what brought her peace during the calm night. Yuzu hopes the same magic works for Ruri.

At first, it doesn’t. Ruri stiffens and fights her drooping eyelids.

After a moment though, her eyes begin to roll closed and her breathing evens. She stiffens at times; Yuzu’s heart races at the thought of Ruri suffering another attack. However, she stays asleep. From her place on Ruri’s couch, Yuzu can crane her neck – painfully – so that she can look at the clock on the microwave. She watches if for as long as she can, keeping an eye on how long Ruri sleeps. She doesn’t dare try to pass out herself, at least not until she knows Ruri will stay asleep for good.

Two hours later, Yuzu closes her eyes and matches Ruri’s rhythmic breathing. She hasn’t woken up since and her face has remained passive, lips curled upwards. Yuzu can only imagine what horrors Ruri was dreaming of: the Invasion, the Resistance, the kidnapping, the sacrifice. Even Yuzu has nightmares about those terrible times.

It’s over now. Yuzu tucks her chin down and rests her head atop Ruri’s. She’ll sing to her every night so that Ruri can rest as peacefully as she is now.


End file.
